Piss Everywhere

I always wondered what it would be like to voice over an episode of Lost.

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Video sent by DerekHouston

I actually practiced that Kate voice for an hour. :D

For Tina's Eyes Only!

This is a direct message to Tina Fey so everyone else can just please stop reading at this point...

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Yo Tina Bear. How've you been? I'm sorry I couldn't get out to New York to make it to the party for the premiere of your new show. You know how it is in O-lando. Nonstop partying. I had to make the strippers leave before your show came on so I wasn't distracted. Ironically, they left some kind of juice on the screen that ended up distracting me anyway. I think it was apple.....no wait, it was cranberry. I remember handing it out while we were discussing Locke's theories on human nature. Ha! Can you believe one of them thought that the human condition is a construct of the sum of our experiences rather than a complex archetype that is instilled in us from birth? I guess you can't expect much from a stripper. Anyways, about your show. I thought it was brilliant. I'm letting everyone I know about it so you don't get cancelled too quickly. Maybe we'll get a good 3 seasons out of you before the idiot masses rise up again and strike your show down like so many Arrested Developments before it. (So what? I'm bitter!) You just gotta play it cool. Keep the edge the way you know how. Sadly, I think you have to confom a little. I mean, this is network television. If your ratings start to slump it's gonna be non sequiter celebrity guest stars and shameless cliffhangers for you. (One celebrity guest star i'd be willing to forgive would be Conan. I mean, he's in 30 Rock already. Maybe have an episode where Conan comes to you because one of the hookers he gets before each show has ODd on crack/cocaine. The rest of the show could be the hilarious story of you and him trying to transport the body out of the building without getting caught? Roll her up in a carpet with the feet hanging out! Oh, hey, let me know if you want me to get to work on the script for that one!) I think the way to keep the show alive is to just keep giving Alec Baldwin screen time. He seems like one of those actors that appeals to both sexes. Girls think he's sexy and guys..well they probably think he's sexy too, and he was also in Bettlejuice and that is mad extra points. I'd have to say though, the most important thing is to never stress yourself out over the new show. Remember, if you ever need some...release, i'm only 2,100 miles away. We can do that thing you talked about. The Flesh Propeller? Plus, I wouldn't mind gettin my hands on some of that Fey-clay ;) Keep it fresh, Tina-bear.

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Everyone should check out this show. It comes on wednesdays at 8 on NBC.

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